By request, here is a paper I wrote last semester for Eastern Religion class. Enjoy :)

In the film "Memento" the main character, Leonard Shelby, and his wife are brutally attacked by an intruder. Leonard's wife is raped and killed and he is left for dead. He awakes and remembers the incident, but now suffers short term memory loss. The only thing he knows about his attacker is that his name is John W. Throughout the film, we see him hunting down John W, only to find out that he killed the real John W years ago. Yet, because of the memory loss, Leonard's desire to kill him always returns and he is locked in an eternal loop of death and misery, not realizing he has accomplished his original mission many times over.
According to the Buddah, our lives are similar to Leonard's own struggle. While we are not always going for the same thing like Leonard is, we are always reaching for something. When we are toddlers we look forward to kindergarten, then we look forward to elementary school, then high school, then college, then a job, then retirement. Then what do we look to? Much like the characters in Waiting for Goddoe, we are waiting for something that never seems to come. The only thing that does come is our inevitable death. And then, what have we accomplished except a lifetime of waiting?
Indeed, throughout this lifetime we have countless experiences. We close our mind to the good and open it only to the bad. We try to grasp what we think is good and run after it at full force. But when we grasp it, it slips out of our fingers like quicksilver. Then we must always think back to that brief moment we had it in our hands and it is the thought that brings us some happiness. But this is false happiness, since it slowly brings us nothing but longing to experience that brief burst of happiness.
All is not lost however. Buddha allows us a way out of this endless loop of waiting and fleeting happiness. Buddha gives us an Eight Fold Path of how we can break this endless cycle. His path is: right outlook, right resolves, right speech, right acts, right livelihood, right endeavor, right mindfulness, right concentration. The idea of "No-Mind" is critical to our trip down this path, and each step sheds away more of our "Self-Mind." While it is difficult to go through the full Eight Fold Path, it can still bring us joy & happiness in our own life without us having to abandon all we know to become Shaolin Monks. We can see this through the film Office Space. In the film, the main character, Peter Gibbins, is a miserable computer programmer. He has everything he wanted, but he is still miserable. He hates his job, he hates his apartment, he hates his girlfriend. His emotional state is brilliantly conveyed by the opening sequence, which depicts the frustration of the morning commute in suburban sprawl hell. Desperate to help him, and more importantly herself, his girlfriend drags Peter to a hypnotist who puts Peter into a deep meditative state. However, the hypnotist dies of a heart attack before bringing Peter back.
Soon, Peter is doing exactly what he wants to do. He catches up on his sleep instead of going to work in the morning. He breaks up with his loudmouthed girlfriend. He asks out a pretty waitress from the restaurant he frequents. When he does get to work, instead of parking in the employee parking space, he takes the space reserved for his boss instead. Instead of pretending to work, he simply comes in, does his task for the day, and then leaves without notice. He doesn't act on the old impulses any longer, but on his own impulses. As a result, the old depressed and sober Peter is replaced by one full of life and energy. His "Self-Mind" is gone, replaced with a relaxed mental state that resembles very much the "No-Mind" ideal that Buddha encourages us to adopt.
We can adopt our lives in a very similar manner. Why do we stay with people we don't truly like? Why do we go to jobs which we don't like? Buddha would say we are trying to achieve a happiness we can't truly achieve. It is only when we empty our minds and learn to accept our life as it is and want things without desiring them. Peter wants love, but doesn't desire it enough to stay with his lousy girlfriend. He instead goes for the woman he thinks would be much more sympathetic and friendlier. Instead of going to his job depressed and ready to leave, he goes much happier and more independent than ever before.
By embracing the concept of "No-Self" we can help bring meaning to our lives and help curb our endless circle of desire that brings only misery. It helps us understand that we can live our lives without constantly desiring everything. If we can embrace "No-Mind" that if we simply do what feels right, we can live happier healthier lives.

IM GOING SO FUCKING STIR CRAZY. IM STUCK IN THIS STUPID HOUSE AND I HAVE NOTHING INTERESTING OR NEW TO DO. I WANT TO LEAVE. THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE.

last tuesday:
I had barely any liquid and spent the day in a delerium. It was quite possibly the strangest day of my life. I was too sick to be able to concentrate on anything, and my throat hurt too intensily to be able to sleep, so what did I do? I wandered around. I think I took about 20 baths that day. I would be laying in my bed, half awake, half asleep, not really knowing what was going on, but thinking I was in specific situations. At one point I believed that Mr. tyler, my theatre arts teacher came to my house and was trying to get me to work. I imagined other members of my class there and started to think I was in some sort of tutor-class. I started screaming about how i didn't want to do my work, and just wanted a bath, and at that point I rolled out of my bed, and started freaking out thinking mr. tyler would call the house. so I took all the phones off of the hook. ZEvery 30 mins or so, I would hop back in the bathtub, my only sense of temporary comfort in the entire house,and then after 20 or so minutes of bathing, I would return to my bedroom for 30-40 more minutes of delerium, before I returned again to the bathtub downstairs. at one point, I thought i was programming a robot. after my dad arrived home, I relized i couldnt take a million baths, or he would start to get pissed off about the oil tank. so, I layed in my bed, and began to imagine that my people were pushiong cocaine deals on me, and i became a cocaine dealer for about the next 3 hours. I came downstairs around 8:00 PM and told my dad that people were pushing cocaine on me and I had a stockpile of it in my room. and he was like "go to sleep", so I convinced him to let me take a bath, which I did. I think after that bath, I think i passed out because i have no recollection of what happened until about 10, when my cell phone ringing woke me up. It was patrice. I dont remember what I said to her, or what she said, but it was short. at that point I went downstairs, my mom told me to try eating a custard, so I did, and began choking on it. then I took a bath, and returned to my room, where I tried to take some liquid tylenol. I swallowed it and fell asleep. about 45 mins later, I woke up, and puked liquid tylenol all over my sheets, and then forgot I did it and fell back asleep. I drifted in and out of sleep all night long from that point, waking up, taking a bath, falling back asleep, until about 6 in the morning. I woke up, my throat burning from dehydration, and poured myself a glass of water. I began to drink it, and It all came out my nose. that was the beginning of wednesday, the day I went to the hospital.

it was a really odd day.

::?>>D&& If I did vocals for a hardcore band, they would be really screwed right now.

~+~! A.J.'s Profile:

name: Alan Pardi
yeah, my parents call me A.J. because my dad was COOL enough to give me the same name as him, causing mass chaos around the house. so, they call me A.J. for Alan Junior, to minimize confusion. the others spent too much time around my father.
blood type: couldn't care less. the doctors know.
age: 18
occupation: making Pizza at people's choice. Hell. Never get a job there.
newest favorite movie: memento is still my favorite.
newest favorite book: Choke by chuck palahniuk
momentary webfetish: http://www.maddox.xmission.com
abode: Manchester CT
what else: I'm probably the most cynical/sarcastic of the four. The rest of them grew up a little more than me, so I tend to still have a bitter, sarcastic outlook towards certain things.

Higgins0005: I love women
Higgins0005: I love life
ndzen: me too.
Higgins0005: I mean to know the balance of goods and bads
ndzen: many times i actually want to be a girl
Higgins0005: it's a beautiful thing
ndzen: and not in a messed up way
Higgins0005: knowing that for every thing there is an opposite
Higgins0005: i know dude
ndzen: i told you its great
ndzen: i telled you so
Higgins0005: I know man
ndzen: aj is pretty fucked up
Higgins0005: I know
ndzen: swollen throat AND grounded for no reason
Higgins0005: euh
ndzen: someone 'broke' something in the pc, and no one fessed up so no one can use it
Higgins0005: wow
ndzen: that was a week and a half ago
ndzen: 3 days ago aj just was like "dad - i'll confess because then at least my bros. can use it!"
ndzen: and his dad said thee nay
ndzen: isnt that so effing peeto???
ndzen: aj isnt even allowed to be a good person
ndzen: it makes no sensors!
Higgins0005: wow
ndzen: i know
Higgins0005: that is fucked
ndzen: i know
ndzen: so whats up?
Higgins0005: redoing my life and loving everything about it
Higgins0005: dude, I'm making progress in my life for the first time in awhile
ndzen: good
Higgins0005: everything is falling into place... like in the places that I didn't know about before
Higgins0005: like you say "everything is falling into place"
Higgins0005: but you usually say that with only the visible things
Higgins0005: but you soon learn the places that are invisible to you
Higgins0005: and then you recognize it and fix it anyway
ndzen: yup
ndzen: now you start to see
ndzen: its beautiful isnt it?
Higgins0005: I'm liking it
Higgins0005: it is very... beautiful
ndzen: yep
ndzen: soon youll just start weeping
ndzen: (like me)
ndzen: i just frikking cry
ndzen: and cry and cry and cry
ndzen: for sheer happiness
ndzen: and its so nice
Higgins0005: yeah, rare times
ndzen: not so rare anymore
Higgins0005: I'll embrace them
ndzen: you back at shool?
Higgins0005: yes
ndzen: got a movie store nearby? rent amelie
Higgins0005: not in walking distance
ndzen: meh
Higgins0005: I'll rent it one of these upcoming weekends
ndzen: maybe its on uconn tv
Higgins0005: maybe
ndzen: nik is talking my ear off

Hi, I go by Higgins and I'm one of the members of the Best of 4 (I even came up with the name for laughs). I just started my first year of college here at Eastern Connecticut State University and I'll continue to go here until my finances could take me to a better place. Like listening to alternative/punk/ska(/some bands that fall under the categories or emo) type of music. I hope to learn drums in the next year and I'm on a spiritual quest to help everyone around me evolve into something better.

Higgins

I I'm Nik (or Nikhil if you perfer) number 2 of the Best of Four. I go to school on Long Island where I'm studying satanism. Ha ha no just kidding. I'm studying Political Science. Big difference huh? Other interesting things to know about me are that I own a desk and a chair as well as a closet. I enjoy water to drink and solid edible substances to eat. Oh and I am a great fan of triangles.

name: Nikhil Bantval Baliga
In case you're wondering what my name means, my first name means "Creation" or "Universe" in Sanskrit, my middle name is the origin of the Baliga family, and Baliga means "Cobbler." Oh and if you're not wondeirng what my name means, who cares? I hate this stupid journal.
blood type: Brown
age: 20
occupation: Wouldn't YOU like to know? Probably your momma.
newest favorite movie: Kill Bill (If you're thinking "This movie hasn't come out yet." then fuck you)
newest favorite book: A Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin
momentary webfetish: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/yatta.html
abode: Hempstead, New York
what else: Seeing multiple movies tommorow with 80's girl Crystal.

P.S. Never drink the day before a medieval fair. Drink during.

welcome to thebestof4's livejournal, my name is sohei. it didn't used to be but that's not any point on a circle. recently, i got to thinking that i wanted to have more of a community. being in portland, oregon, and my good friends still languishing in manchester, ct, i decided to try this journal thing that's getting so popular.
there are links to all of our personal sites on the main page, and some sort of true-to-life avatar will be uploaded when i get around to it. sooner or later this site will be filled to the fullest with cool shite, but, everything starts small, so, what else is smaller than a stupid introduction!

name: sohei
that's my last name actually, pronounced like "SO HEY, how's it going?" it's from japan, i'm not.
blood type: red
age: almost 24
occupation: crappy bartender
newest favorite movie: lost in translation
conquer the world to see this movie!!!
newest favorite book: the artist's way by julia cameron
momentary webfetish: http://www.diepunyhumans.com
abode: portland, oregon
when i first moved here, i realized that the first 2 letters of each word spelled poor.
what else: life is humming along at a brisk pace and everything is interesting

that's it for now from me, time to let the other 3 make foolish.
ciao for now
-sohei